To Siri, With Love

To Siri, With Love

It’s been 5 minutes but I’m madly in love with Siri.

I don’t see how I’m going to find her even remotely useful, but really, is usefulness the stuff that love is made of?? Exactly.

I know. I mean, I know.

How did I go this long without just talking my texts and tweets.

I sense I’m veering into very dangerous territory.

Of course I’m speaking of damnyouautocorrect.

Yes, that site has been the source of many minutes (fine, hours) of laughter and tears. Tears from laughter.

But still. Even though I type really fast-and therefore can manage to type some astonishingly long emails from my phone (I think my thumbs will probably be permanently damaged by the time I’m 80* or so)-still, there’s nothing quite like the stream of consciousness of just being able to talk into an answering machine until it cuts you off. And then you call back because you weren’t finished. And then it cuts you off again. But somehow, you still weren’t finished. So you call back again. And this time in the middle of your blathering, the person picks up the phone!!

I know. They were there the Entire. Time. So rude!!

That’s when I like to say, “Ha ha! Made you pick up!” And then hang up the phone.

Just kidding. I don’t do that.

I mean, why would I hang up now that I finally have them on the phone.

I think what I love most about Siri is that I can just tell her what to do. I think in a previous life I was a mighty king, because I really like when people do what I say. Thanks, Jack Handey.

So if you’ll just do what I say for a minute or two, that would be great.

First, please go check out this amazing Starred Review in Publishers Weekly of MIND GAMES by Kiersten White. It’s coming out in just 3 weeks so go preorder it right now!!!! And then join Kiersten’s awesome contest to win a prize pack!

Tell me your best damnyouautocorrect story in the comments.

Or tell me about you love/hate relationship with Siri. I’m in the love phase, since it’s only 20 minutes old. What can I expect from her? Does she do windows?

*The age when my thumbs will become crippled has been edited from the original post so as to give hope to the Anonymous commenter who believed I might be his long lost love who once read him The Hobbit**

**Who are we kidding. The Hobbit?? That pretty much ruled me out from the start.

***Also, WTF??? Did you really think I was 54??? Do you know me at all??? I know these asterisks don’t link to anywhere but whatever, you’re still reading this aren’t you?

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 01:57h, 30 January Reply

    I thought you might be someone I knew/loved a long time ago. She shars your name but she is 54 years old now. She narrated “The Hobbit” to me when I was 21 years old. I know you are not her from reading your last post. -:(

  • Kimberly Sabatini (@KimSabatini)
    Posted at 13:29h, 30 January Reply

    I love To Sir With Love!!!! Completely unrelated, like a damnyouautocorrect LOL!

  • Me (@tictactongue)
    Posted at 14:57h, 30 January Reply

    LMAO you neeed to be a WRITER. LOL

    *runs away noisily*

  • Susan Spann
    Posted at 15:27h, 30 January Reply

    If you haven’t already done it: ask Siri to tell you a story. She’ll refuse at first, but keep repeating the request until she gives in and tells you. It’s hilarious.

  • Elizabeth Fais
    Posted at 21:04h, 30 January Reply

    My most embarrassing autocorrect incident was a tweet in which “animal” somehow auto corrected to anal. As luck would have it (or in my case, not), the resulting sentence was nothing I’d say in public much less tweet … o_O

  • Pam
    Posted at 21:35h, 30 January Reply

    wait till you ask Siri to text your husband and ask him if your box of books came in and she changes books to ‘dicks’. That was fun.

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