I’m a Sucker for Thanksgiving

I’m a Sucker for Thanksgiving

So in a complete about face from my Bah Humbug let’s not wish anyone a happy holidays post last week, I’m going to admit the truth here: Thanksgiving is really my favorite holiday.

I know, I know. I was annoyed that I’d already started saying Happy Holidays. And that part is true. But that really stems from the fact that they start pushing Halloween merchandise in July, and Christmas lights go up after Labor Day and Valentine’s Day (the ultimate in Hallmark Holidays, I mean, come on!!) stuff starts coming out on January 2.

Where’s that procrastinator’s spirit?? What happened to leaving shopping to the last minute??

Oh. My. God. I just had the most BRILLIANT idea!!!!

I think there should be a day each year to celebrate procrastinators!!! I’m going to call it–wait for it–eh, I’ll tell you tomorrow.

Ha ha!! I crack myself up.

Just kidding, it’s called Procrastinator’s Day!! I mean, what else would it be called??

Wait, this is even more brilliant because I was going to change the title of this blog postย to Procrastinator’s Day but then I was going to have to tell you in here that the original title for the post was “I’m a sucker for Thanksgiving” because otherwise theย lead-in to the post would make no sense and even though it now has nothing really to do with the post, it has that neat link to another post and I’m still sort of new to blogging and I get excited by my links so I didn’t want to take that link away.

BUT, it really does kind of relate in a way because I’m talking about holidays and the creation of a new holiday and I was talking about how Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday but I think that my NEW favorite holiday might have to be Procrastinator’s Day!! I think it’s going to be yours too, but let me explain it first.

I know, I know, a holiday with instructions. It’s not sounding that promising. But I promise, it gets better. Oh also, I meant that it seems fine to leave the original title.

So, I think there’s a special bond among true procrastinators. We meet each others eyes as we’re shopping last minute for gifts. Scrounging through the leftover gloves with no matchย for something that doesn’t look like it was bought at the 11th hour even though our loved ones know us. We meet sleepy eyes across the way as we’re picking up our papers from Kiewit (Go Big Green!) at 4am the day a paper is due.

I guess that doesn’t happen anymore but you get the idea. Actually you probably have no idea what I mean. Print out papers?? On a central college printer?? Wow, I thought Michelle was so young. No, she’s just short.

Anyway, forget all that. True procrastinators brag with pride about how last minute we did something.ย  And finally, a holiday just for us.

But the true brilliance of Procrastinator’s Day is coming up now. So first the terms–our loved ones must experience the thrill of getting a present at the very last minute. But how to force them to experience this?? Ok, now.

The date of Procrastinator’s Day will CHANGE EVERY YEAR!!! No one will know when it is, except the organizers!!! So you won’t know when it’s coming!! You will receive an email, and you have 12 hours to buy your own beloved Procrastinator a fabu present!!


I know. I mean I KNOW!!! I’m astonished at my own brilliance sometimes.

Feel free to let me know how brilliant this idea is in the comments. And of course let me know if you want to help coordinate this. I think we can totally set this up for 2012!

Procrastinator’s Day. Coming soon to you! Or maybe not.

PS-This was going to be a post about the things I’m grateful for. Guess I’ll do that one later.

  • Patrick Alan
    Posted at 10:17h, 23 November Reply

    I’ll have a comment a little later.

  • Monica B. W. (@Monica_BW)
    Posted at 10:23h, 23 November Reply

    Ha! That’s a good one! So you’re procrastinating giving thanks? LOL

  • Kimberly Sabatini
    Posted at 10:27h, 23 November Reply

    12 hours absolutely guarantees that it will be late. Well done!

    • Wolfson Literary
      Posted at 10:29h, 23 November Reply

      Hmm, see the idea isn’t for it to be late, but for them to experience that frantic rush. Perhaps 18 hours is better.

  • Delia
    Posted at 10:35h, 23 November Reply

    I’m pretty sure I could do it in 12 hours. I mean, I managed an entire semester’s worth of Probate and Estate Law in twelve hours, so there’s precedent. Help coordinating, though…uh, I may have more time in 2013. Remind me then, ‘kay?

  • Jen Stayrook
    Posted at 10:36h, 23 November Reply

    I once wrote a 20 page paper AND Powerpoint presentation (do people still use those?) at 3am the morning before it was due (8am). I may or may not have been tipsy from sleep deprivation when I handed it in, but it was DONE.

    I suggest when Procrastinator’s Day is announced, there will be a mandatory week off from work, to get the full excitement of the holiday. I can FINALLY read those books in my “to be read” pile. Well, maybe next PD.

  • Katelyn O'Tierney
    Posted at 11:05h, 23 November Reply

    It’s such a great idea that I’m surprised no one proposed this before.
    Maybe they were waiting to do it later. Or couldn’t decide on the date.

    Let us know when we can subscribe to the e-mail list.

  • Daisy Whitney
    Posted at 11:54h, 23 November Reply

    Oh man, my heart is palpitating! I am so NOT a procrastinator! I will have to abstain from this holiday! I will be on Procrastination Abstention Holiday!

  • Patty Blount
    Posted at 12:23h, 23 November Reply

    GAH! Another thing to remember to do!

  • Jennifer M.J. Thorne (@juniperjenny)
    Posted at 12:27h, 23 November Reply

    It stands to reason, though, that the date for this holiday will be continually pushed off.

  • Kate Larkindale
    Posted at 12:28h, 23 November Reply

    I guess maybe I could get around to celebrating that holiday. But I may have to clean the bath first. And finish my novel. And paint the fence….

  • Amanda Olivieri (@xamandaolivieri)
    Posted at 12:33h, 23 November Reply

    Let me see if I understand this correctly–We (the Procrastinators) will inform our loved ones that Procrastinator’s Day will be in 12 hours and that they must get us a gift for being such wonderful Procrastinators all year long. Then, we watch with deranged glee as they scramble to buy us a gift…and…we have NOTHING that we must do as the Procrastinators? Except wait for our gift? I think this IS a brilliant idea ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Wolfson Literary
      Posted at 12:47h, 23 November Reply

      Yes, this is pretty much it! Except I was thinking that we inform them that it’s NOW. Or whenever it is (the moving holiday date, you know).And then comes the deranged glee as we watch them scramble with a 12 hour deadline to get us the perfect gift.
      They’ll probably have to form an online chat room or something to coordinate with other significant others on what exactly the perfect gift is, too. They don’t want to be the only one who just got you a card when someone else got, say, a diamond necklace.

      • Amanda Olivieri (@xamandaolivieri)
        Posted at 17:40h, 23 November Reply

        Ah, okay, I now understand the sheer IMMEDIACY of it. The URGENCY! Oh, poor, poor significant others…muahahaha! We should form the online chat room for them in advance as a courtesy, if we ever get around to it.

        • Wolfson Literary
          Posted at 21:14h, 23 November Reply

          Why isn’t your comment showing on the blog?? I see it here behind the scenes. What a mystery this whole blogging world is. What happens if I reply backstage??

      • Wolfson Literary
        Posted at 21:53h, 23 November Reply

        Ok, just kidding. Your reply is showing. I just didn’t see it. Mystery solved. Hey! I’m a blogger AND a detective.
        Oh, and a literary agent.

  • Kay Elam
    Posted at 12:42h, 23 November Reply

    I’m sure I can work one more thing into my schedule of procrastination and help co-ordinate. We’ll have to wait and see.

    Online surfing, er I mean research, gets me distracted and throws me off schedule. I wonder how many NaNo folks are gonna write 50k after Thanksgiving?

    BTW, you crack me up too ๐Ÿ™‚

  • MaryAnn Kempher
    Posted at 14:33h, 23 November Reply

    I will admit, you are funny. ๐Ÿ™‚

    If you don’t mind me asking, when/how did you decide to become a literary agent?

  • Julianna Helms
    Posted at 15:07h, 23 November Reply

    Oh man. This is BEYOND brilliant. I agree; it’s time us procrastinators are recognized! I mean, who else can do what we can do? ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Kiersten White
    Posted at 17:13h, 23 November Reply

    “No, she’s just short.”

    Best line ever.

    • Wolfson Literary
      Posted at 17:26h, 23 November Reply

      Appreciated as only another short person can. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Jessica Naccari
    Posted at 17:16h, 23 November Reply

    Haha! This is hilarious! I was expecting a thankful for post but NO it was even better! I like the idea! I’m down to help. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kathleen Matthews Schmidt
    Posted at 17:31h, 23 November Reply


  • michaeldadich
    Posted at 17:32h, 23 November Reply

    National Procrastinators Day, started by the funniest Lit agent in Bookville. I’m down.

  • Melanie Jacobson
    Posted at 17:36h, 23 November Reply

    Dear Michelle,

    I didn’t even read the post because I’m drowning in edits and what not, but I can’t ignore a cry for love. So I’m sure I love you in that (insert that Greek word for general love of mankind here) kind of way, but I’ll go ahead and specifically love you for committing to the LDS Storymakers conference in May. That’s cool. Hopefully my teaching duties don’t get in the way of me finding you and shaking your hand for providing a steady stream of entertaining tweets. Happy Thanksgiving!

  • Julia Nielsen
    Posted at 19:18h, 23 November Reply

    That’s too funny!!

    I have procrastinators attacking my home! Yes, my husband and all three of my kids are like that!! Drives me coo coo!

    I think we should have a procrastinators day!! Not sure what I will buy the fam….eh, won’t worry about that now! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Living, Learning, Eating
    Posted at 23:45h, 23 November Reply

    Haha, I love how you closed with ‘SHIBUM!’ ๐Ÿ˜› Christmas is my far my favorite holiday, so Thanksgiving pales a little in comparison…but it’s still nice. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Cassie Mae
    Posted at 00:09h, 24 November Reply

    I like your train of thought process…explaining it all to us how you got there. I do that all the time! How did I get from thinking about what I was cooking for dinner to how did I get that bruise on my leg? then I go back and think about it all. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Linda G.
    Posted at 09:40h, 24 November Reply

    I was going to comment on this post yesterday, but in honor of your new holiday…um, yeah.

    Hope you have a wonderful, flavorful Thanksgiving! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Robin Lemke (@rebobinar)
    Posted at 13:53h, 30 November Reply

    I prefer not to think of it as “procrastinating” but as “living in the moment”
    Who’s really feeling the Christmas/Hanukkah spirit? The people with gifts bought and wrapped in October? Or those of us rushing out in December with a list, a latte, and that vague feeling of panic. It’s not the holidays without a little panic.

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