Reason #458 Why I could Never Be A Writer

18 Nov Reason #458 Why I could Never Be A Writer

So reason number 1 is that I hate writing.

I mean, I love to read, but I hate to write.

But there are about a gazillion other reasons why I couldn’t be a writer, most of them having to do with how unbelievably crazy hard it is to put out an amazing book (and let’s face it, if I were going to write, I’d want to write a Holy Krakatoa awesome book).

Sometimes I feel like my job as a literary agent is like having a box seat at a Broadway show while I watch an artist create. But the best part is, the show is never the same. Every author is different, and even the same author sometimes works differently on different books. You know, it’s different sometimes. I mean it can be different. (Reason #459 is that I think you need to use a lot of different words)

So anyway, you should expect to read about many of these reasons over time, assuming you come back to the blog–and according to yesterday’s survey monkey, 100% of respondents love my new blog, with 81% responding, “Duh, of course I do,” and the other 19% saying simply “yes.”

That survey monkey was so cool! But I thought you’d be able to see the results in the blog. And I made a sample pie chart, but in order to show you, they want me to upgrade. I know what that means. I’m no sucker. So that’s why I just told you the results. Take THAT, survey monkey!!! Mwah ha ha ha ha.

What was I saying?

Oh right, why I could never be an author. Well clearly reason #460 is that I get sidetracked too easily.

But back to reason #458 and that is that I get way too attached to things. This should probably not come as a surprise considering I live in clutter central. But still, I get way too attached to things. And therefore, I could never edit properly.

I received an email this morning from an author who said, oh I think I know what I’m going to do to fix this… And I was like what?? But what about that?? Do you mean we won’t be able to do that??? (By “we” of course I meant her)

So she emails back and is all casual and cheery like yeah, that won’t work anymore.

So now I’m practically hyperventilating. And I’m like WAIT!! But what if you do this??  sent from my iphone please excuse typos

Then I emailed right away and I’m like no that won’t work.  sent from my iphone please excuse typos

Then I emailed again and I’m like what aboat if you do this???  sent from my iphone please excuse typos

Then I emailed again and i’m like wait, that won’t work  sent from my iphone please excuse typos

Then I emailed again and I’m like wati, what if you do this and that???  sent from my iphone please excuse typos

And my computer was frozen and I was trying to restart it and I was all bug-eyed and frantic and then I finally got it running and there were all these responses and she was like oh, yeah that could work.

It’s like she has no clue that I was having a panic attack about this one little piece.

The crazy part is I don’t usually do that. I see some of you shaking your heads. But there have definitely been a few times–a few times where having that glimpse into the editorial process, where having the chance to give my input turns me into a whiny, crazy, scheming lunatic.

Oh but also, this is all just about what I want to happen. Let’s add reason #461, and this is probably repeated in many of the reasons before and after, which of course, is that I have absolutely no clue how to make it happen. So again, I could never be a writer.

But let me take a moment and bow down to the authors-my clients-and all of you writers who write (and then successfully edit!!) the books I so love to read. Thank you thank you for bringing so much joy to my life through books.

Tell me what your top 3 book recs are in the comments. Because I am always looking for good books to read.